Wednesday, November 24, 2010

I am perfect

.Bit by bit I am discovering my Buddha nature. Unfortunately it is not of the spiritual or existential kind. It is of the physical kind. Bit by bit my belly is beginning to resemble that of a laughing Buddha statue. Hmmmm. How is this happening? How can I use my increasing spiritual awareness and Buddhist practice to impact my health and my body? How can I use my wish to embrace all that is simple and divine to help battle my increasing weight, my battle with food, and my increase sloth like behaviour.

I meditate, read about mindfulness. I have read articles, bought books on mindful eating. I know basic arithmetic: one plus one equals two. Calories plus calories less exercise equals pounds. I know that pounds plus pounds equals disapproval of myself, and I know that this disapproval plus judgment equals calories plus calories…… It is a vicious cycle. I know the theory. I know the practice. I know that after I put the food into my mouth I feel no better. I feel worse. I know there is something missing from this basic equation.

The answer really is quite simple (and divine) Metta. Metta is loving-kindness. It is the practice of opening your heart and wishing goodwill and compassion on oneself and other beings. It’s often easier to practice loving-kindness towards others than it is towards yourself. But until one really, really accepts where they are at, and who they are and can hold themselves as they are in this very moment then really, how can one truly practice loving kindness towards others. My lack of acceptance of where I am in this process of physical health and well being, my lack of acceptance of my body, of me, of where I am at this perfect moment in time is quite the opposite of loving kindness. I am wishing myself to be somewhere, and to be someone that I am not at this present moment.
And so, all that it is needed, the missing piece of the equation, is to remember that I am perfect in this very moment. I am exactly where I need to be. And with that:

May I be filled with loving-kindness
May I be well
May I be peaceful and at ease
May I be happy

And this moment, it is perfect, as perfect as it should be.

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