Thursday, May 12, 2011

I put it out there...

...and I waited to see what came back. What came back was love and acceptance and appreciation for me and for my words. I am a half-assed writer. I don't write every day and feel I often have nothing to say. I vow to change this. I vow to work on my story that has not been looked at in 5 months. I vow to post a couple of times a week, and I vow to let the words flow. I have so many excuses why I can't write. And yes, they are actually valid excuses. I need to parent my children (yeah, that'd be a good thing to do). I need to make sure the house stays in some semblance of cleanliness. I need to make sure my girl makes it to and from school (yes, another good thing to do). I need to meditate. I need to read. I need to exercise. I need to spend time with my husband. And...this one. This one is a biggie. I need to make some money.

I very recently resigned from the job I had for 11 years. I was a social worker. I am still a social worker, one who is trying to work for herself and one who is trying to find odd jobs here and there. My intuition tells me that I do not strive in the 9-5 work environment. I want freedom, flexibility and less boundaries. I am trusting my intuition, I am trusting that it will all come together as it is meant to. Things have a tendency to do that. Is it scary? Yes. Does my heart pound regularly? Yes. Do I wonder if I made a huge mistake? Yes. Do I know in my heart I made the right choice? Yes.

Here in lies the challenge though. How do I find enough time in the day for all the things that need to be done? How do I find enough time in the day for all the things I want to do? As of yesterday I have moved writing from the 'want to do' list, to the 'need to do' list. This is something that is good for my soul and good for my brain. I spend a lot of time supporting and caring for others. I do this as a mother and I do this as a social worker. It is time I care for and support myself. Hence writing and exercise have both moved to the 'need to do'. These two things need to be integrated into my life on a daily basis. As they are I believe the gifts in my life will be amplified. If the joy I felt yesterday after putting my words 'out there' is any indication of what's to come then I will keep the pen flowing and the fingers flying over the keys!

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