Just breathe

Okay, so today I am having some mini panic attacks. I will admit that. I decided not to go back to my full time employment--a job that I have had for 12 years--after my maternity leave. Here in Canada we are very fortunate as we get 12 months of (partially) paid leave. I knew when I left last June that I would not be returning. I wanted something different, something new. Through much soul searching and discussions with my husband I decided what may be best for me and for the family would venture out on my own. I am a social worker. My background is supporting teens and adults with Aspergers and helping parents who are on the verge of burnout. I love it! And we figure if I can work a couple evenings a week, and some weekends then I can also stay home with my girls. Best of both worlds.

So...I have an office close to my home. Great. I have started to advertise. Great. I'm hoping to get a website up and going. Great. I have no clients. Not great. I know it will happen. My gut, my intuition tells me it will happen, and that everything will unfold as it should.

The question is: how do you continue to have faith in moments of fear? How do you not continually second guess decisions that have been made? How do you not attach yourself to the worry but continue pressing on in the moment to moment awareness? Because, right now, there is nothing wrong in this moment. There is no need to worry in this moment. This moment is perfect. The moments following too will be perfect, they will be exactly what the need to be. So for now I welcome the thoughts. Accept them for what they are, sensations, energy--all fleeting. I welcome them in. And then I let them go lovingly. And I move on......